Men's Sexual Issues with Patrick Holley

Jan 1, 2018

Patrick is a professional counselor and author of the book Grace and Sexuality. Scott and Patrick discuss some of the major challenges men face in the realm of sexuality.

Group Questions:

1. Fire belongs in a fireplace. In the right context sex is a great thing and an awesome gift from God. In the wrong context it has more potential to harm and to damage than probably anything else. Read Ephesians 5:1-17.
   1. Repression model: If you have a desire you have to shut it down and pretend it’s not there.
   2. Sex is shameful, dirty and bad. So save it for the one you love.
   3. Do whatever feels good. Sex is just a physical act between two consenting adults. Live it up now while you can.
   4. Sexuality is good and important. God created sex. God does give us parameters and commands us to flee sexual immorality but it’s always for our benefit.
2. We all have natural sexual desires, but what are we supposed to do with these desires? Talk through these different teachings:
3. Which of these views were you taught growing up? How has your view changed?
4. Scott talked about how we often go into “sin management mode,” addressing symptoms but not actually treating the root causes. Why is that not the best way to deal with sin?
5. An inherent weakness with men is sharing about our sexual issues. We try to compartmentalize and privatize them.  Have you seen this tendency in your own life?
6. How have you typically tried to overcome sexual temptations?
7. Patrick talked about creating an “airtight plan” for yourself to remove opportunities to look at sexually explicit content.  Discuss with the group what your plan will be.
8. Are you spending your time doing meaningful things (developing relationships, working out, Bible study, time with family, fishing, hunting, reading, etc) or mind-numbing things (video games, scrolling through social media, etc)?
9. Patrick reminds us that “The healing doesn’t start until the last lie is told.” Have you taken ownership of your sexual issues and stopped lying about them?
10. Are you harboring any secrets? It’s very unlikely that you will experience any success in this area unless you bring it out in the open. You will experience God’s grace like you never dreamed of. On the other side of confession is such freedom and relief. All you need is “10 seconds of courage!”